Desire vs. Reality

As my next birthday approaches, I find myself thinking about how my life has not turned out at all the way I thought it would.  I always figured I would be married by twenty-four and starting my own family.  At twenty-four I was in graduate school and alone.  Nearly five years later I have a masters’ degree but neither the career nor the family I expected.  I often feel as though the best years of my life are passing me by without any of the good parts of life to experience.  My hair is going grey, and I don’t sleep well anymore.  I also realize that people experience things at different stages.  Everyone is different.  But I can’t help but thinking there is something more.  This can’t be all there is for me.

And since this is supposed to be a writing blog:  I completed an entire novel during the past month, which has already been edited and submitted to a publisher.  Fingers crossed.  And I have currently begun writing another novel, because I’m either in creative hyper-drive or simply a masochist.

Always on Time

I unexpectedly finished my latest book in just under a month.  It is just a hair under 62,000 words, so that may have something to do with it.  I've also completed the first edit.  It was pretty easy to write, though I'm not sure when I'll share it with anyone.  Maybe soon.  It's nice to finished, though, for now.

April

Writing is going pretty well lately, although I am still getting a feeling for who my characters are and what makes them tick.  I suppose that's one of the most difficult parts of writing an book--differentiating your characters, and giving them realistic motives and qualities.

Slow

So I'm writing again.  Much like my previous novel, I've been taking it slow, just writing passages here and there--however, I did get to the 10,000 word mark in a hurry.  One thing I'm trying to achieve in this book is a greatest sense of conflict and tension--if not between the two main characters, then in their past lives, families, and supporting/secondary characters.  Happy endings are de rigeur, but I can play a little with the intervening storylines.

Yoda

"Do or do not--there is no try."

So last week was generally terrible, one I'd just as soon forget.  I am determined that this week will be better.  I am trying to accomplish small tasks each and every day.  I have an inherent need to feel good about myself.  Cleaning this, organizing that, throwing away this...life weighs us down with various physical and emotional burdens.  Resentments, objects, emotions we don't need.  Each day is a struggle to pare down, to get back to our basic selves, the uncomplicated beings we all were as children.  But as I once wrote in a novel:  "You should never be in a hurry to grow up, because when you're an adult your life will never again be uncomplicated."  I'm paraphrasing myself, of course, but I find that it works well in this situation.

The Art of Love

In the midst of a rather craptastic week, at least I had this to look forward to.  After an intensive, sometimes lazy, two months of writing, I've put a period on the Windswept Saga (for now).  It was simultaneously easy and difficult to write Chandler's story, because I knew him so well and somehow found there was still more to learn.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Love-Windswept-Saga-ebook/dp/B00BV9R8TK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1363957883&sr=8-1&keywords=tommie+art+of+love

Routines

I am not currently writing a novel.

I am not currently reading a novel.

It is, admittedly, unusual.  After a constant state of doing both for the past thirteen months, I have taken a free day.  Yeah, I picked up a magazine and started thumbing through, which is a nice change of pace.  I doubt I’ll make it through the end of the week—I’ll start another novel.  I don’t really have many things better to do at this point in time.  That’s another discovery I’ve made over the past year, that I enjoyed reading.  I seldom read during graduate school, though I completed a few novels.  When your avocation is reading to complete your degree, you kind of fall out of the habit of pleasure reading.  I wish I’d kept a better calculation over the past few months of what I’ve read, because those manic months where I had four books going at once were mind-bending.  And honestly, if the library had a better selection and/or I had the money to download e-books, I’d probably complete a few more.  It’ll be interesting to see what I do next.  Unless someone bestows me with a job or something even better, the writing may come to me again.  For now, we’ll see where the reading takes me…