Lead On

This has been a tough week.  I haven’t necessarily had one, overarching crises, but sometimes the little things add up and become one big thing.  Even as I write this, I feel a headache coming on.  I wonder if I will ever stop being plagued by self-doubt?  Having one novel published (aside from the other six I self-published) helps, but I still have flaws and failings, be they real or imagined.  And sometimes the people with whom you need to communicate the most are the most dismissive.  I am also very tired as I write this.  I haven’t slept well in a very long time.  If you are able to sleep for eight interrupted hours, enjoy it.  Some of us would like to feel rested and therefore better able to tackle the problems that plague us while we are awake.  I hate that I feel this way—draggy, lethargic, as though the wind has been taken from my sails and all of the air let out of my tires.  I’m too young to always feel so  weary and exhausted.

In Review

As the month draws to a close, I am reviewing my goals that I established for myself.  I had wanted to write 20 blogs for August, and I surpassed that goal.  It wasn’t always easy but I did it.  I’m not setting a goal for September but rather seeing where life takes me.

Another goal of mine was to read more books.  I accomplished this as well, finishing an incredible four books in a single week.  I didn’t keep a tally, which was a mistake on part, but it’s safe to say I read all or part of ten books this month.

I never did figure out how to write a good cover letter, and I’ve also run dry on my job search.  This is just as well, because I have no clue what I want to be when I grow up.

Insomnia still owns me.  This is nothing new.

Looked at loads of old pictures this month, and remembered a lot of happy and sad times.  I hate being photographed so I hope I don’t look back on this period of my life and wonder where I was.

I reacquainted myself with some of my favorite artists.  It takes a lot of good music in order to write one of my novels.  I also watched quite a few movies this month—some good, some simply mediocre.

As for rediscovering honesty?  It’s an ongoing process for me, and I imagine it is for you, too.

Currently listening to “When Did You Stop Loving Me” by George Strait

Reading Rainbow

I have completed, or read in full, at least ten books so far this month.  That’s got to be some kind of record for me in my adult life.  Previously I was lucky to get through one book per month.  I guess I’ve been enjoying the quiet time that comes from reading.  It’s a time to reflect, to think, to be introspective and to escape.  In college I became so busy that I lost the will and the desire to read—sad, I know.  This year I’ve rediscovered my love for books.  Even if I don’t flat-out love a book, it’s a satisfying feeling to complete them and think critically about the inevitable life lesson contained in each story.

Continued

Doing pretty good so far with my goal to write more blogs.   This will be my fifth blog already for just this month.   Been feeling a bit of weird in my novel writing lately, but I think that has to do with a combination of outside things as well as getting over that 50,000 word hump—because I’m increasingly close to that mark.  It’s always a challenge to create something unique but so few things are truly unique anymore; stories, ideas, products have in many cases been done ad nauseam.   It will be interesting someday to compare my writing side-by-side to see how many common themes and ideas repeat throughout.

Currently listening to “Set Fire to the Rain” by Adele

A New Month

For the month of August, I am going to take upon myself a new attitude toward blogging.  I am going to write blogs alongside my novel, this ensuring a more significant output.  With that in mind, I’ll set of goal of posting at least 20 blogs this month.  Today hasn’t been the most conducive to blogging or writing, unfortunately.  It seems like I am tired all the time lately and my brain suffers as a result—I write, but it takes forever.  Another goal I need to set for myself?  Getting to bed at a decent hour.

Currently listening to “When I Close My Eyes” by Kenny Chesney