Crossroads

I have reached a crossroads in my writing career—if you can call it a career.  For the second time in as many months, I have reached a crossroads in my writing career—if you can call it a career.  For the second time in as many months, I have put aside my story, unable to continue.  In the past I have been able to harness my disappointments, and depression, and boredom into serious creativity, but lately I just can’t seem to get myself into the zone.  Too many things have been weighing on my mind, including a situation in which I am an innocent bystander, being lied to each and every time I try to rectify someone else’s oversights.  It is no fun when people play fast-and-loose with your life.  I mean, there are scenarios in life when we do things—all of us—with few thoughts to the consequences.  However, I really needed this opportunity, this chance, and as the months pass I know it is growing father and father in the distance.  When you need one piece of the puzzle to fall into place and it won’t, it’s pretty darn frustrating.

But back to my writing.  I sent out books to three different entities recently, in this hopes that I would be reviewed favorably and possibly even sold in an important store.  Still waiting for feedback, be it good or bad, on all of them.  At least there’s something to hope for.  I hope. 

Right or Wrong

I’ve joked in this blog in the past about writer’s block, but now I well and truly have it.  After writing ten novels in just over a year, with little in the way of a break, I find that for now I have no desire to muster the amount of empathy that would be required to tell someone else’s story.  I have reached this conclusion via several sources, a culmination of events that I don’t wish to share.  Needless to say, I am suffering the usual self-doubts.  I don’t possess an ounce of self-esteem so that’s nothing out of the ordinary.  For a period of time I enjoyed losing myself on the page and creating other worlds, venturing into places and relationships that I can only imagine in the depths of my mind.  Perhaps someday I will again, but I am not in the right mindset to create, craft, or enjoy the creative process.  I also understand that a lot of writing is finding your inspiration and pushing through adversity—but sometimes, I just can’t.

Writing Update

I’m not ashamed to say that book number five is kicking my rear-end.  It’s nearing the end of my proscribed story and it’s like pulling hen’s teeth to get the characters to help me along in the story.  Then again, they’re probably thinking that they’ve endured enough and they’re simply ready to move on.  Perhaps the problem is I’ve had too much on my mind these days—the general anxieties about money and my future, family, and such.  It’s nearly Thanksgiving which makes absolutely no sense.  This year vanished quicker than a dollar bill at McDonald’s.  I’ve also been in the process of reading one-too-many books and I guess, at the end of the day, that my brain is friend and in need of a respite.  Will I give it that much-deserved rest?  Yeah, all signs point to no.

Stumbling Through Writer's Block

I've been known to dramatize things, turning minor events into life-altering situations with a simple turn of phrase.  So it should no surprise that, halfway through writing my third novel, I find a slight lack of inspiration to be disconcerting.  I'm writing this as we speak, maneuvering back and forth.  I tend to do multiple things at once—a manic kind of multitasking that I know isn't good for my brain!  At any rate, I am still looking at writing through different angles, drawing inspiration from any and all sources.   Ideas can come from unexpected places; notions can arrive from unknown recesses of the brain.   I find myself not as able to blog right now, either, but I’m trying.  Call it a summer dry spell. 

Currently listening to “Blue Moon with Heartache” by Rosanne Cash