Betrayal

Betrayal can come in many forms.  We can be betrayed by loved ones, family or friends, and even people whom we barely know.  Over the past year I have considered a betrayal that may have been unintentional from the very beginning, or may have been purposeful and malicious.  I suppose I will never know the truth.  I interviewed for what I consider, in some ways, to be a dream job.  Maybe not World Famous Movie Star or LEGO designer, but I job I wanted all the same.  In my mind, the interview went well.  Still, to this day, I think that the interview went well.  I have to wonder if I received many mixed signals that day.  While I have yet to experience a perfect interview--I'm much more articulate in print than in person--I thought this one went quite well.  I had so much hope, felt so much promise afterward--and then nothing happened.  I never received a call back to let me know that someone else had been hired, or that I was awful, or that I just wasn't right for the job.  After a while, a call that simply said, "F*** you" would have been fine. Some kind, any kind of acknowledgement of my actually being a candidate for the job.  I even sent a follow-up thank you card but today, I am still waiting to hear something.  No, I am not really still waiting--a month after the interview I was in the establishment and saw with my own two eyes that they'd hired someone else for the job. In so many ways, I felt used, unnecesssary, part of someone's quota.  Every other job I've applied for, there's either been a phone call or a system generated email.  I appreciate those rejections far more than hearing nothing at all.

I am sure in my own life that I have been guilty of betrayals and maligning others.  If I've ever done that to any of you, I apologize.  We grow and change and hopefully we get better as we get older.  We all are charged with making difficult decisions. These either build character or prove that we have none.  In two of my college jobs, I interviewed and was involved with the job search process.  I always tried to be kind to people.  Sometimes I have to wonder if I'm full of bad karma for some slight I've forgotten about, something in my past that I shouldn't have done.  It's important to remember that I am not the wealthiest of people and I have often had to turn down things because I just didn't have the time or money to pursue them.  Maybe the worst hurt of all, then, is when we betray ourselves.  Stick to what you're good at, what makes you happy.  Take risks but don't toss your whole life away for five minutes of happiness.  And whatever you do, think before you betray someone.  The bridge you burn today, as they say, may be your only avenue of travel tomorrow.